Sunday, November 12, 2006
Haha. Hie all once again. Having thinking abt dis blog for quite some time since i last blogged. After much consideration, i'll start talking abt my life again as i have slowly turned the blog into a movie review blog. Lol. I jus get too carried away and one main reason is that i really dunn haf anithing to talk abt my life. Sad isn't it. Haha.
Hmmm. Since i relatively got ntg to talk abt. Sho, i mite start writing abt myself here as well as school for a start denn.
School, see it as a way to pass time but some modules/tutors/lecturers are sho damn boring that make mie wana skip his/her lesson. It's like kinda boring. But due to the fact that i can waste most of my time there, i still go to sch, crap wid classmates etc. Ntg reali much. Results for 1st semester was okok. Quite expected the results myself as i'm a total slacker i shuld say or maybe happy-go-lucky? Haha. Either way quite true la. But who cares. However, currently aims mite b to go to U and study Economics. Kinda fun i find it. Better denn accountancy. Duno why i chose it as first though. But aniways, jus try to get passed it anhow. Haha.
Hmmm. Myself arrh. Let's see. i should say myself ish someone who hates to be all alone. Lonelieness ish my biggest enemy in life. That's why i always like to go out and stuffs. But who can reali understand me? I'm the only child in my family, unlike most. When you all are bored and such, you got siblings to accompany euu, talk to, etc. Do you guys know how much i reali wanted those that you all haf? I bet none knows. All only know to see it at the point of view that being the only child means that i could get whatever i wann. Even if that's true, there's something i longed for when i was borned was companionship which i dunn haf when i'm old enough to realise that. It's true i got friends. As for friends that i go till now, they are how should i put it. A limit to it. They will not always there when i needed them most. Yes, there's a limit to a friendship. What for i got a whole world full of friends when all are the same? All are not there when i wanted to go out, only asked mie along when they wanted to go out and i will always go. But where's the reciprocation? Till now i can rmb, i got ntg. Nothing that ish even 1/10 of what i haf gifen them. But do they know this feeling i had? I bet none knows. All they care is their own enjoyment but who really knows the way i'm really feeling? If they really do? Where are they when i needed them most when i'm lonely, sad or whatever i'm feeling? Yes, they could put it as i really wanted attention, but what's the true meaning within them? All i really wanted ish that all of you could really accompany more and that's all i want. But do i get in return? Rejects/selfish acts/whatever things. I might appear cheerful, act cute and so on. But in the depths of my heart, who knows what i really i'm really feeling? You all want to know, i'll let you all know. I felt that true friendships wasn't there at the start when i had friends. All i feel was a feeling of being used and a tool to be able to give you all the enjoyment that you all want. But in the end, i gained nothing. Let's see. God-family such as siblings, sons etc i had alot. But what's the point? None are really there for mie till now yet but mayb for a couple of circumstances.
Dang, i lost my thoughts. Oh wells, i'll stop here at the moment. Really wonders who could really bring mie the enjoyment that i longed for as so, i could get out of this loneliness soon. T.T. Of course, there are some who have been there for mie, appreciate them. =D
when your gone.
when you're not here at all.
{5:12 PM}
